Evening Standard - 'I'd bet on me still being here in June' (17 March 2005): For the record, Oona King is NOT having an affair with a prominent Cabinet minister who may or may not be Jack Straw.

There it is in black and white, folks.

(Oh, *do* grow up...)

Now let that be the end of it.

(PS - It's well past June 2005, Oona *is* still 'here' and - according to her website - she's still an MP. We have no reason to question her word on this.)

Blair - The Knives Are Out

Sunday Times - Labour aide: Prescott was serial groper: A former senior Labour aide has alleged that John Prescott sexually harassed her over a two-year period. Tricia McDaid, a former political journalist and press officer at Labour party headquarters, said the deputy prime minister "jumped" on her at parties and once turned up uninvited at her home, hoping for sexual favours. She said yesterday: "He just leapt on me at one party and his tongue was halfway down my throat." Such was Prescott's reputation, she said, that she resorted to wearing trouser suits to avoid his wandering hands in the lifts at his Westminster office. She added that she was too afraid to protest at the time for fear of losing her job... McDaid also said that Prescott boasted he had a dossier of people in the Labour party who had slept with one another.

Well, with the exception of Jack Straw (who so far escapes unscathed) that's Blair's support network pretty much fucked. But it's Straw and Blair who lie (or perhaps 'merely' obfuscate) at the centre of one of Neo Labour's greatest crimes.

Perhaps journalists would care to spend some time on that this week, now that these serious allegations are far less likely to be batted away with any great strength.

(See also: The World According To Leo Blair)

Mail on Sunday - Angry Prescott: Lover 'motivated by money': Beleaguered Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today hit back over his ex-lover's explosive claims about their affair - claiming that much of them were "simply untrue". His former secretary, Tracey Temple, recounted intimate details of their two-year relationship in an interview with the Mail on Sunday. In a statement Mr Prescott said: "I have admitted that Tracey Temple and I had intimate relations. "However, much of her recollections in the Mail on Sunday are simply untrue, and are clearly motivated by a desire to maximise financial gain."

Why, that's just awful. In fact, it's far, far worse than offering someone certain career advantages in exchange for their silence.

Guido has a round-up of revelations here, and rightly highlights a lie (about when the relationship ended) that could bury Prescott on its lonesome. There's also the matter of a possible breach of Civil Service rules and/or sexual matters interrupting his work (Again! Again! Again! and Again! Again! Again!)... but he misses the whopper that the public is most likely to get *most* angry about (which is also potentially the most damaging revelation from Blair's point of view): Ms Temple told how regular sexual encounters took place in Mr Prescott's office with the door open while other civil servants worked outside. On other occasions they took place in Mr Prescott's taxpayer-funded flat in Admiralty Arch - once following the Iraq war memorial service.

The call to 'support the troops' is one of Blair's main weapons... it even managed to get the Lib-Dems to toe the line once the bombs started dropping on Iraq.

That Prescott brought his mistress along to this sombre service raised a few eyebrows this week, but most people took a calm breath and accepted that perhaps she was there in her capacity as secretary.

Unfortunately, we now have the mistress telling us that she and Prescott took time out after the service for a celebratory shag. Her diary entry for that day reads: "The service was nice. Had to go back to the flat with the boss. He can be a randy old sod at times coz he wanted sex again he was so up for it though."

Respect!

(Note to Downing Street: This can be neatly spun by comparing it to the well-documented bout of life-affirming sex that followed the September 11 atrocities. It makes 'Honest' John seem more human, and neatly ties the war in Iraq to the war on terror. Again.)

Tony Blair (in NOTW): But it was important to get to the facts and see what people had been trying to do. I make no excuses for what happened, it was wrong and shouldn't have happened. The reason the problem was uncovered was because people started to make changes.

How very interesting...

The interview also contains a move from "total support" to "it depends"...

AP - Blair Won't Rule Out Nixing Clarke Support: Blair told the News of the World he believed Clarke should stay in his job to fix his department's problems but would not rule out changing his mind if one of those released was found to have committed a serious crime, the newspaper said. "I don't think I'm going to speculate," it quoted the prime minister as saying. "It depends on what happens, what the reasons are." Blair's office did not dispute the accuracy of the quotation but said it did not represent "the spirit of what he said." The prime minister fully supports Clarke and wants to keep him in his job, according to his office.

Well, let's see how long that lasts when yet more evidence comes to light showing that Clarke was primarily concerned about keeping his job rather than, say, dealing with the actual problem...

Independent - Home Office cover-up: The pressure on Charles Clarke to resign intensified last night following allegations that he tried to cover up the true scale of the threat posed by foreign prisoners wrongly released on to Britain's streets. The Independent on Sunday can today reveal that the Home Secretary withheld detailed information about the serious crimes committed by 79 convicted criminals who should have been deported following their release from British jails... With claims that public safety could have been jeopardised by the refusal to name the men being hunted, the IoS can reveal that a list of offenders passed by Mr Clarke to the Association of Chief Police Officers includes four kidnappers, two murderers, eight rapists, 13 sex offenders, two killers convicted of manslaughter and 50 violent offenders. Although Mr Clarke admitted on Friday that 13 of the "most serious offenders" had convictions for murder, manslaughter and child sex offences, he withheld the other crimes committed by the released foreigners. Five of the 79 have re-offended and two more are under investigation for alleged sex offences, one of whom was released after Mr Clarke was told about the scandal... With Tony Blair's government braced for further disclosures today about ministerial behaviour, David Davis, the shadow Home Secretary, said yesterday that at "every stage" the Government had battled to keep the true facts of the prisoner release crisis concealed. "The public can no longer have confidence in a Home Secretary who covers up the facts and particularly the facts of his own failure ... We have had to drag the numbers out of them." Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman, added: "They are salami-slicing into the statistics. It's difficult for me to work out where cock-up ends and cover-up begins."

Pfft!

A certain Queen track works both ways on this one.

Guardian - Alleged offer to rebel MP investigated: The police inquiry into the sale of honours may be widened to investigate allegations that the independent MP Peter Law was offered a peerage by Labour party officials not to stand against the official Labour candidate in the last general election.

Independent - Labour MP was offered peerage to head off rebellion, widow says: Mr Law, who died last week, ran as an independent at the last general election in Blaenau Gwent, previously the safest Labour seat in Wales. The allegation by his widow that a "high-ranking politician" had tried to buy him off with a seat in the Lords has been emphatically denied by the Labour Party. But suspicious Tories queried how the Labour Party could be in a position to be so sure the allegation was false, so soon after it was aired... Sir Ray Powell, the long-serving Labour MP for Ogmore, in Wales, claimed after the 1997 general election that he had turned down an offer of a peerage made by party officials hunting for a safe Welsh seat to reward Alan Howarth, who had claimed a footnote in history by being the first sitting Tory MP to defect to Labour. When Sir Ray refused, another Welsh MP, Roy Hughes, offered his seat, securing a life peerage in return. But offering a peerage to someone as an inducement not to run against a Labour candidate is more serious, because it could be interpreted as a breach of a law dating from 1925 banning the sale of honours. This month Maggie Jones, who as Labour's official candidate was defeated by Mr Law in the last general election, was awarded a peerage.

[UPDATE - BBC - Hain accused of offering peerage (04 May): Plaid Cymru have named Welsh Secretary Peter Hain as offering the late MP and assembly member Peter Law a peerage.]

Pretty slick, huh? But wait... we fear it's even slicker:

Because the Tories have Boris and the Lib-Dems have Mark Oaten, both parties have been quick to agree that John Prescott's affair is a private matter... but the affair was with Tracey Temple, his Assistant Private Secretary and Diary Manager. Surely this makes it a career matter.

Even the sheer hypocrisy of it is grounds for claiming that a minister has lost public confidence (Prescott made quite a few gains on the back of Tory sleaze), but are we really supposed to tolerate the use of a grace-and-favour flat as a near-to-office love-nest?

Further; are we honestly supposed to believe that the work that John Prescott was scheduled to do (that was scheduled by his secret lover) did not include the occasional 'accidental' meeting-of-convenience?

And who the hell is willing to investigate this? All you'd need is one diary entry that shows either or both parties used their position to secure the opportunity for a taxpayer-funded out-of-town tryst.

WARNING: GOSSIP AND SPECULATION FOLLOWS

Those who contribute to Guy Fawke's blog (in posts and comments) recently rounded on political reporter Nick Robinson and his 'surprise' at what they claimed to be an open secret. Nick Robinson's response speaks volumes. It also needs to be noted that Trevor Kavanagh, former political editor of The Sun, recently said the following on Radio 5 Live: "Learning that John Prescott's had an affair is a bit like learning that Simon Hughes is gay. I mean, everyone knew he has affairs. He's had a string of affairs throughout his life and this has come as no surprise."

The same crowd over at the Guy Fawkes blog (note: again, we are referring not only to the owner of the site, but also the anonymous Westminster insiders who respond to his revelations under comments) were equally sure of themselves when they threatened to release the name of another woman that they claim had an affair with John Prescott. That name is now in the public domain.

More on that name in a moment... let's first look at the nature and context of the allegations:

Guy Fawkes (April 26): Guido knows that where there is one blousy mistress, there is often another... Inquiring minds should be looking for a local grammar school girl (this would be prior to him becoming DPM). The girl has since done very well for herself.

The woman at the centre of these allegations is Rosie Winterton.

She worked for John Prescott as his Constituency Personal Assistant from 1980 until 1986, and again as his Head of Office from 1994 until 1997 (when Prescott was deputy Party Leader).

In 1997 Rosie Winterton was elected MP in the safe Labour seat of Doncaster (a position she still holds). She also served as Minister of state for health from 2003 to 2005.

Cash and favours for peerages? Pah!

If allegations of an affair prior to 1997 prove to be true, then a serious question has to be asked, and it can be summed up in the following headline (which we have cleaned up a tad to make it suitable for universal consumption):

COPULATION FOR CONSTITUENCIES?

UPDATE (30 April): Scotsman - Prescott's lover tells of trysts in office: Last night another woman, former Labour party candidate Sarah Bissett-Scott, also claimed she had had an affair with Prescott over 20 years ago.

We readily acknowledge that chinese-whispers could have resulted in some confusion between Sarah Bissett-Scott and Rosie Winterton... but it's equally possible that both women feature in his "string of affairs throughout his life"...

We've long held the view that the risk the BNP presents is deliberately (and habitually) blown out of proportion by Labour and used to bully people into voting for their party (clearly, the only alternative).

But circumstances change. Now, the risk is actually more pronounced.

We recognise this reality. But we also seek to bring the reasons behind it to your attention:

1. Labour's recent round of fear-mongering has actually increased the BNP's profile and credibility.

2. The arrogance and incompetence of the Labour government has fuelled a fear of crime and foreigners that is sure to be exploited by the BNP in the days to come.

Canny operators like the BNP will most probably keep their mouths shut in the national press (they don't want to draw any undue attention) but you can rest assured that they will be hard at work exploiting this turn of events on the doorsteps and in locally-distributed leaflets.

Hell, it features alleged rape, crime *and* foreigners, and so plays right into their hands. (In Heanor, the BNP recently made a false claim that a 15-year-old girl had been gang-raped by asylum seekers.)

Anybody who has being paying attention these past few years will be well aware that Tony Blair has cynically exploited the terrorist threat to gain support, made it worse in the process, and further exploited the increased threat to gain ongoing support.

The same pattern appears to be repeating itself, this time with the BNP as the bogeyman.

This is not a healthy, responsible or even sustainable model by any means, but it worked during the 2005 General Election (Labour used a mix of Tory-fear, terrist-fear and BNP-fear on a local and national basis), Blair is desperate to cling to power, and he has no positive messages to offer.

Some voters may face a difficult choice come election-day, we ask them to:

a) Do what they can to be aware of the actual reality (not the perceived reality) of any given threat

b) Be especially wary of those who would exploit that threat for political gain

We can no longer tolerate the use of fear as the primary tool of governance.

(See also: Cash for contracts and ballots for bigots)

Clarke is waiting until late Friday afternoon before releasing his statement... we don't think he has happy news to share.

UPDATE - Speak of the devil. Statement just coming through...

They have found the most serious offenders (79 in number)... on a database. That's not the same as finding them, now is it? Only 6 of them have been detained pending removal.

5 convicted re-offenders. That they know about. So far. Drugs, GBH and violent disorder... but nothing of a "more serious nature" (Clarke's words). There was also an allegation of rape that did not result in a conviction (due to 'insufficient evidence') and there are two further allegations of sex offences being investigated.

More at Blair Watch.

BBC report.

Even before this news was released, two-thirds of voters believed that the home secretary should be sacked over the foreign prisoners scandal.

If Blair and Clarke continue as before, it's going to get very, very ugly for Labour.

(The way this news was released suggests that they are hoping that it will die down by Tuesday... that they can ride out a storm that will be reduced in size as journalists go into hibernation over the long weekend.)

UPDATE - Independent - Clarke: foreign criminals have reoffended (29 April): Mr Clarke also admitted that the checks had uncovered "a small number" of other police investigations that could lead to prosecutions. Most were minor offences, but two of them were accusations of sex crimes. In a further setback for Mr Clarke, one of those alleged offences was committed by someone released since he personally became aware of the problem.

And, in the same week that Charles Clarke boldly sought to reduce compensation costs with a 'mud sticks' clause, his incompetence has led to this:

Independent - Home Office faces huge compensation bill from victims of crimes: The Home Office could face large compensation claims from victims of any crimes committed by foreign offenders that should have been deported.

(image posted to b3ta)

1. There are now many more comments over at the Nick Robinson interview post. Go read. (Comments include this thought, which occured to us as well; So the home secretary thinks he should stay on to sort out the mess. The last person to say that was the Chief Constable of Humberside and that made Mr Blunkett furious.)

2. Bears repeating: It's the sheer unshakable arrogance of it which gives the game away. The idea that people might be shouting and booing and heckling because they desperately want someone to take the decisions that are right for the country just isn't on the agenda. It's not even allowed to exist in the same universe.

(PS - Here you go; have some more Prescott lovin'...)

Guardian - Depression is UK's biggest social problem, government told: Depression, anxiety and other forms of mental illness have taken over from unemployment as the greatest social problem in the UK, a health economist warns today.

Wouldn't it be great to feel hope again? Perhaps a little joy?

The Times - Three murderers and nine rapists head list of lost foreign criminals: The whereabouts of three murderers and nine rapists on Charles Clarke's list of lost foreign criminals was still unknown last night despite the fact that all were supposed to be under supervision. The admission by Home Office sources casts doubt not only on the system for expelling foreign prisoners but also on the monitoring of released murderers and the operation of the sex offenders register. Sex attackers and killers from overseas should be supervised upon release in the same way as British-born offenders. Hundreds of names from the list of 916 unaccounted-for criminals were passed last night to the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) as the Home Office's trawl became increasingly desperate. Until late afternoon Acpo had been given just 80 names, including those of the most dangerous criminals, to check against the Police National Computer (PNC). But The Times has learnt that there is no active search in progress for any of the listed offenders.

BBC - Freed criminals not on computer: Details of more than 20 of the 80 most dangerous foreign prisoners freed without facing deportation cannot be found on the national police computer. They include one murderer and a rapist. A source told the BBC police may not have sufficient details to run a check. But Home Office minister Hazel Blears insisted the most serious offenders would be out on licence and monitored.

Listen to Hazel Blears struggling to defend Charles Clarke here.

Also spare a thought for the remarkable favour Blair and his cronies have done (again) for the right-wing tabloids, parties and interest groups.

Oh, and you may even want to have a quiet think about all those high-priority issues that were dealt with ahead of this one... like banning spontaneous demonstrations in Westminster under a banner of 'war on serious crime'.

(Fucking hell... there's a man on the loose with a megaphone! We'll have him. And let's take photos of all the demonstrators that we don't arrest... well, the ones that aren't working for the police anyway. Ten quid says *that* database is kept up to scratch.)

Can you see the Primary Priority at work here?

When they try to call him to account for perfectly valid reasons, Blair bleats that he won't be driven to distraction to by the media... but let's look at the cold, hard reality of it:

1) The responsible arm of the media machine is - by and large - whipped. Blair only claims that they're overdoing it on those rare occasions when they get off their arses and actually do their job.

2) The Home Office has been awfully busy lately pushing and enforcing headline-grabbing legislation prompted mainly by misguided hysteria fuelled by the tabloids. Oh, and an ongoing need to take Iraq off the agenda (see below).

3) Nothing got done about the foreign criminals issue until it came to light. Now, suddenly, it's all hands on deck... as if that makes everything OK.

The Home Office no longer operates to protect the public; it operates to Protect The Blair. And if you need further proof of this...

BBC - Things can only get better...?: If, as many are demanding, Mr Clarke was forced to resign before voters go to the polls next Thursday, it would only add to the impression of a government in serious trouble. And the desire not to give that impression, combined with Mr Blair's desire not to lose another friend from the Cabinet, may yet be Mr Clarke's greatest protection.

And it's not just home security that operates in this basis... almost every other domestic initiative has been deliberately formed and timed in one desperate attempt after another to take Blair's greatest crime off the agenda.

And that's a matter that *still* needs to be settled.

The illegal invasion of Iraq and the cynical exploitation of the threat of terrorism has poisoned our society and crippled our government.

We as a people need to deal with this issue once and for all or - no matter what happens to Blair and his cronies next week - we will get the government we deserve... and that government will stand for pre-emptive strikes on oil-rich nations, torture, detention without trial and further suppression of anyone who dares object to such things.

If you think we deserve better, then you have to work for it.... and this coming week is the time in which you can do the most good.

This shit must end, people.

UPDATE - And here's a picture, boys and girls:

(image posted to B3ta)

Guardian - Double vote-rigging probes: Detectives from two police forces are investigating alleged vote-rigging ahead of next month's local elections. Scotland Yard said officers were looking at suspicious activities in seven London boroughs.

BBC - Police launch vote rigging probe: Police are investigating alleged vote-rigging in seven London boroughs, ahead of the local elections on 4 May. Harrow, Kensington and Chelsea, Merton, Southwark, Hounslow, Tower Hamlets and Barnet are being looked at... The Metropolitan Police is not the only force probing vote rigging claims - in Birmingham, one arrest has been made.

Amateurs. The pros know it's smarter to stuff rallies rather than ballot boxes. Perception is the new reality.

Did you know that if you objected so strongly to Charles Clarke staying on (despite his incompetence) that you decided to go down to the Home Office, stand outside and called for his resignation that you would be committing a crime? Welcome to Blair's Britain.

UPDATE - Hello Boris. Welcome to our world.

UPDATE - Hello Bloggers4Labour. We'd love for you to join us as we face reality. (Lalalalalalalalalathey'renotlisteniiiiiing!)

... they just choose not to include it in their commercials. It's all part of "a more sophisticated modern approach"... or something. Dave Cross reports.

You can give it to me, when I need to come along....

Europhobia - Dear God - someone pass the mind-bleach: It's just sunk in how utterly screwed the government should be over all this. I mean, in just the last week we've had: [ED: snip of very long list] And God alone knows what else I've missed. Do they actually WANT to get wiped out at the local elections next week?

Blair Watch - Are the wheels really coming off the wagon, or am I just being over-optimistic?

Something to keep in mind....

Blair has survived a number of serious threats to his premiership with the use of the following method:

Cabinet members form a tight circle around him (or perhaps a triangle, when numbers are short) and friendly media bods are used to create a perception of support/stability. In short, the public is assured that the matter simply isn't an issue, and - eventually - the issue goes away.

But it is an issue and - if you'll pardon the pun - this week it has been widely acknowledged that it is a Major issue.

Blair is fast running out of credible cabinet members... and he can no longer rely on Murdoch. If anything, Murdoch is on the attack.

He is fighting a losing battle, and the longer this goes on, the more likely it is that he will drag Labour down with him.

BSCC - Something in the Air: So Labour are at a 19-year low in the opinion polls. I do believe I detect the beginnings of a long slow decline into long-term opposition unless something dramatic is done like now. In all fairness, this is only partly Blair's fault. The rest of the Labour Party have not been able to grasp that he's become a serious liability so they've got to take some blame too. And the assortment of sycophantic incompetents he's got as ministers, of course.

You can't say that we didn't warn you.

(But we do look forward to being blamed for all of this because we didn't clap for Tinkerbell.)

Blair Watch - Charles Clarke: His lies, Damn Lies and the Statistics: People are finally waking up to the fact that the unsafe elephant has been lying through his back teeth about the extent of the problem... since Charles assured us that the Home Office was on top of the problem - it has got worse, not better. Just under one third of the cases cited happened since August last year, AFTER Charlie's staff got on the case. The approximate rate of cases for deportation that should have been considered but were missed went up, from a couple a week, to more than one a day ON HIS WATCH. The number of missed cases didn't simply continue, it INCREASED after Charlie got on the case. His intervention made the problem worse, not better. That's neither a historical, or a systemic problem.

Worse, not better. Not even slightly improved.... but instead much, much, worse. And why? Most probably because Clarke knew that any serious move he made to correct the problem would result in that problem coming to light. Somebody might want to look into that.

David Davis (House of Commons, 26 April): Last night on "Newsnight", when asked if anyone was released in the period after we knew about this problem, the Home Secretary said, "Very, very few," but a statement broadcast after the 10 o'clock news announced that 288 more foreign criminals were released after the Home Secretary explicitly knew that there was a problem: 288 releases over eight months is actually a faster rate than 700 over six years. The rate of release of those criminals into the community was greater after July, when he found out, than it was before July. Does the Home Secretary really believe that almost 300 foreign convicted criminals released into our communities is "Very, very few"? I am afraid that I must tell him that I cannot think of a starker demonstration of a Minister not in charge of his Department.

Also worth noting is this exchange, that began shortly after Blair ran from the room:

Charles Clarke (Home Secretary): (rises)

Hon. Members: Resign!

Michael Martin (Speaker): Order. The House wanted a statement yesterday. The statement is here, and we must listen to the Home Secretary.

At this point, its worth reminding folks why the House was left wanting a statement the day before...

BSSC: What else is there to say about Charles Clarke? It seems that the problem actually got worse after he found out about it. It seems that he thought it more important to brief the media than to come to parliament to explain himself...

The pattern is clear... Clarke sought to tackle the perception of the problem rather than the problem itself.

(Hint: There's a very short list of likely contenders)

Bloggerheads - A message to all 'wobbly' MPs: ignore the puppet show, look at the strings (November 08, 2005): Even if we depart from the central issue of terrorism, you need to acknowledge that the only people Blair can appoint to his cabinet or count on in the pursuit of his reforms have to have backed him over the war on Iraq then and continue to back him to this day. And anyone who can do that with a smile on their face is duplicitous, stupid or woefully misinformed. It's no longer a case of the best man or woman for the job.

Chicken Yoghurt - Save Charles Clarke: I just had a nasty thought. If Charlie Two Lunches decides to spend more time with the sweet trolley over the foreign prisoner affair, who would replace him? Step forward John Reid.

(check out the comments on that latter link... well worth a read)

UPDATE - Stephen Pollard: The story I am being told is that, even as the PM prepared to back his Home Secretary at PMQs this morning, the feeling in Number 10 was that today will be Charles Clarke's last day in office and that a reshuffle was already being pepared for. Alan Johnson will be Home Secretary. You read it here first.

You can sign it by clicking here.

Miranda

... because it's fun. Trust me.

And at quite a lick at that:

Dave the Chameleon (Zippy Version)

zoomzoomzoomzoomzoomzoomzoomzoomzoomzoom

(Uh-oh... and now we have The Chameleon Army to deal with as well. This has to be Blair's best week ever.)

Education, education, education

Hopefully everyone remember's Blair's 1997 mantra regarding his main priority. Well, it would appear that - as with the NHS - the eventual solution (if indeed it can be called one) has been the use of overseas labour.

The Guardian - How Heads bend the rules

The Headspace survey also reveals that a large number of schools are using unqualified teaching staff: 73% of secondary and 35% of primary heads in England admitted they had taken on someone without qualified teacher status (QTS) to teach in the past three years.

Dunford expresses little surprise. "This merely reflects what everyone already knows - that there have been severe teacher shortages in several subjects, not just in maths and sciences," he says. "It's also been difficult to recruit in ICT and English."

Now there is nothing wrong per se with using teachers from overseas. After all, they can actually add to the richness and cultural diversity of lessons. But there are two issues here.

Firstly, by using unqualified teaching staff, the standard of education our children receive may be lowered. And this is a direct result of the DfES directive to increase teachers' non-contact time without introducing an equivalent budget increase to fund cover. As a consequence, head teachers are faced with making budget cuts to fund UK qualified supply teaching cover; asking teaching assistants to cover the lessons or employ an unqualified overseas teacher at a lower cost than the equivalent UK qualified supply teacher.

Secondly, this process has the effect of depriving poorer countries of valuable teaching staff.

Yet another example of New Labour's inability to apply joined up thinking to the process of government.

My, my, my.... this page looks like an obituary-in-waiting.

Hey, do you remember just a few short days ago when Charles Clarke said this?

"Since the (SOCPA) legislation came into effect last August, 157 demonstrations have taken place in Parliament Square, on issues ranging from human rights in Burma to a protest about the right to protest itself..." (source)

It was noted over at Bloggerheads that he didn't bother to say how many of these protests had been of the authorised variety... and guess what?

That's because he DOESN'T KNOW!!!!!!

Hat-tip to Toby and The Unofficial Martin Linton Weblog for this....

Written answers - Thursday, 20 April 2006 - Serious Organised Crime and Police Act:

Martin Linton (PPS (Team PPS), Department for Constitutional Affairs, Battersea, Labour):

To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department how many protests have been granted permission by the police under the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005 since it came into force.

Clarke Charles Clarke (Home Secretary):

The Commissioner of the Metropolis is responsible for the day-to-day operational management of the force. I have passed your question to him and asked him to respond to you directly. I will arrange for a copy of the reply to be placed in the House Library.

Clarke didn't bother finding out the truth, he just presented an out-of-his-arse statistic as a 'fact' supporting his case.

Two words apply here (again): lazy and deceitful.

We're still waiting for the promised follow-up to Dave the Chameleon... all the site offers right now is a live webcam pointed at what appears to be a real, live chameleon at Labour HQ.

(Note - Those expecting a 24-hour webcast of Tony Blair sitting on a couch, drinking cheap cider and arguing with other housemates will be sorely disappointed.)

UPDATE - Hooray! Part Two is now live on the site and available for download!

UPDATE - Oh dear... it looks awfully recycled and last-minute. We were hoping for some decent new footage... not more (and more and yet more) of the same.

The Mirror - Deputy PM admits two-year fling with his secretary

BBC - Prescott admits to having affair

Guido wins a dual award for Best Headline and Fresh Dirt:
Guy Fawkes - Two Jags Has Two Three Shags

While Justin takes home the trophy for Most Astute Observation...
Chicken Yoghurt - Six feet under

BBC - Clarke: Blair told me not to quit: The home secretary told Tony Blair he was ready to quit over the 1,023 foreign prisoners released but not considered for removal from the UK. Charles Clarke said he told the premier of the problems just before Christmas.

Skip right past the bit where Clarke is incredibly close to Blair this week due to their teamed attack on the media and Clarke's solid work backing the PM over the looming local election results and go straight to...

Blair knew about this months ago as well... and stood by as the debacle continued!

We continue to assert that Blair's PR team has new man on board who used to work for the Bush administration...

The bit where people now accept responsibility but not consequences... that's a worldwide infection these days. But we've got all this flip-flop messaging going on, we began the week with attempts to stop the press using words like 'gulag' (because the Coalition of the Willing is only imprisoning and torturing hundreds of people without trial, not millions... see here for an across-the-pond example) and now we have this...

Guardian - Clarke admits 'unacceptable failure' on deportations: "I am not going to go down the blame game here. Both the prison service and the IND failed to carry out their responsibilities in the way they ought to have done," said Mr Clarke.

Minister of State for immigration and citizenship Tony McNulty also used the "blame game" snippet/gambit in his interview on BBC television.

Ring any bells?

Charles Clarke, stalwart critic of the "lazy and deceitful" media, yesterday sought to use the media to put his best foot forward on the latest prison scandal...

David Davis: The Home Secretary briefed the press at 12.30 pm today and laid a statement in the House at 2.11 pm, so the House could not have been aware of the situation before the press. As far as I am aware, we do not have a mechanism to bring the Home Secretary to the Chamber to answer for that major Government failure.

Richard Bacon: Further to the point of order raised by the shadow Home Secretary, Mr. Speaker. I would have wished to table an urgent question this morning, Mr. Speaker, had the Home Office made its written statement early enough. It was my question in the Public Accounts Committee (last year) that led to the information—as it turned out, the inadequate information—being released.

Over to BlairWatch for the rich, creamy goodness...

Charles Clarke (you remember him; he was the guy who called the media "lazy and deceitful") knew about this for well over 9 months, but did nothing to immediately arrest the problem... most probably because any minor corrections would have set alarm bells ringing at a time that was politically inconvenient.

In that time, a further 288 foreign criminals were released instead of being deported and they could/should have been under law... and Charles Clarke has been caught lying through his teeth about it

One can only wonder what new, exciting and misguided authoritarian measure will be used to over-compensate for this disgraceful state of affairs (which must surely be acknowledged as an election gift for the BNP).

Pandora: Another day, another "confidential" e-mail jollifies the inbox of Labour's backbench drones. Sent by one Caroline Adams, from Labour HQ, it brings important instructions regarding the forthcoming local election campaign. "For those MPs with flats in London, the PLP office has available VOTE LABOUR posters to put up in your window," it reads. "Please come along to our office in the West Cloister to pick one up." The e-mail has so far met with a mixed response. "This smacks of desperation," grumbles one recipient. "And what about the poor old taxpayers who pay for MPs' accommodation? Will they be happy to subsidise this petty electioneering?"

There is a need for understanding and tolerance here... not a knee-jerk reaction over taxpayer-funded housing allowances paying for advertising space.... even if MPs *do* spend; "an average of £17,852 for mortgage repayments, domestic appliances, utility bills and security on their second homes."

As many readers of this weblog know, active public support is pretty thin on the ground for Labour these days; so much so that they often have to invent it.

In such circumstances, Labour can be forgiven for placing posters in *any* way that might give the impression that there is at least one person in any given street/neighbourhood/constituency who still believes passionately in Tony Blair's grand vision for his future the nation.

In fact, we would even dare to make a bold suggestion. After this news...

Independent - Blunkett's £4m Belgravia pad to be put up for sale: The luxury house was at the centre of a bitter row last November when this newspaper revealed that Tony Blair was to let Blunkett remain at the taxpayer-funded residence despite his no longer being a minister. Blunkett responded furiously to our report, claiming it was "misleading" to infer that he would remain there for so long. "I've put up with distortion about my private life for the past six months," he wrote. " I did not expect a respected newspaper to continue in this vein." As it was, he was still living there four months later and only recently moved out. But since his departure, officials have now examined the building and have decided it is no longer credible as a safe house for ministers at risk from terrorist attack. The sale will provide a boost to the Treasury's coffers as property experts expect it to fetch as much as £4m. It will also come as a huge relief to residents who often complained about police cars coming and going at all hours of the day.

Hmmm. Blunkett was allowed to stay in this property for months and months and months because of 'security considerations'... and now we find out that it's not very secure. How very interesting. Now, where were we? Ah yes, bold suggestions...

We say; why wait to profit from this property when Labour can use it as valuable advertising hoarding right now?

It is situated right about here (warning: location given is deliberately vague in order to foil potential terrists who may not have read recent newspapers). This places it right in the centre of the Borough of Westminster. What better place to give the Tories what-for with a huge fuck-off poster of Dave the Chameleon? After all, it's not as if this is going to break any *big* rules...

As noted by Blairwatch, Charles Clarke is feeling the pressure... but that should have been obvious from his shouty start to the week. Can't see him raising much above a squeak now, though.

Clarke may be a nasty piece of work, but he's your typical coward/bully... he will bluster and insult as he pleases for as long as he thinks he can get away with it (and may even bluff his way out a few corners as a result), but he will always curl into a pudgy ball and mind his mouth/manners the moment a serious blow looks likely.

That's too bad, really. He and Blair could have continued this pattern by insisting that his incompetence was proof of Neo-Labour's liberal values.

Related News Items:
Monsters & Critics - Clarke under fire after prisoners released
Politics.co.uk - Clarke 'deeply regrets' releasing 1,000 foreign prisoners
Reuters/CNN - UK admits prisoners not deported
Guardian - Clarke apologises for criminal deportation failures
Telegraph - 1,000 foreign criminals escape deportation
BBC - Clarke under intense pressure

(and his best buddy Clarke)

The following image is dedicated to Mr Blair's failing ability to come to grips with reality.

(posted to B3ta)

The Times - Don't use result as excuse to oust Blair, MPs told: Cabinet ministers have delivered an early warning to Labour MPs against using possible poor Labour results in next week's local elections to try to bring forward the departure of Tony Blair... Charles Clarke, the Home Secretary, who wants Mr Blair to stay on while accepting that Gordon Brown will eventually succeed him, said yesterday that the May 4 poll should not be seen as a referendum on Mr Blair's leadership. He declared it would be "batty" to think the results would have any bearing on when Mr Blair leaves Downing Street.

We rule. That is all.

Brownout (noun): A reduction or cutback in power, often resulting from a shortfall or failure.

Financial Times - Contest marks critical test for prime minister: Tony Blair has been assailed on numerous fronts in 2006. The Tessa Jowell affair, the allegations over "cash for coronets", perceptions of disarray in the health service, the deterioration in his relations with Gordon Brown - all this has intensified questions over how long the prime minister can stay at Number 10. Next week's local elections in England are therefore critical for Mr Blair, revealing how much he has become a liability for Lab-our. A truly bad performance next Thursday would intensify demands from Labour rebels that he must go now. A reasonable outcome would probably give him the momentum to go into 2007... Arguably, Labour would have a bad night if it suffered a net loss of more than 200 council seats. Labour currently has about 6,500 councillors in the UK, the lowest it has had since 1978. To go even lower would smack of humiliation. In the battle for London, Labour is likely to lose control of established strongholds like Brent, Bexley and Hammersmith. But the bellwether will be its flagship in Camden. Labour has solid majority control here. Losing Camden is unthinkable, but a serious bloodying here would do damage to the government. It would also be an embarrassment for Labour to lose Tower Hamlets - where the party is in a three-way fight with Respect and the Lib Dems - or to do very badly in Haringey.

Meanwhile, in the La-La land of Neo-Labour...

NOTW - Blair: I'm here until 2009
The Times - Euan Blair tells Tories daddy isn’t quitting

We stopped holding any dim hope of Gordon Brown presenting any kind of viable leadership solution well over a year ago... and the longer this goes on the more gutless he looks to more voters. Brownites should get used to hearing this kind of thing more often...

Blair Watch: Brown of course lacks the balls to stick the knife in, preferring to sneer from the sidelines via his minions. Gordon has wimped out of several golden opportunities to inherit the throne and I think he'll be the David Davis of New Labour. When his challenge came it was too little, too late.

Guido: Euan Blair telling George Osborne at the Washington Embassy that his father was going to stay until the end, is as close to the horse's mouth as it gets. Guido reckons Gordon hasn't got the balls to take Blair head on.

1. What's the bet that these two snippets are somehow related?

Guardian - £40m spree that bought groundhogs, gurus, makeup and Mr Spock outfits: Labour spent £3,500 hiring chairs and tables for a 90-minute meeting with Tony Blair in Gloucestershire...

Bloggerheads - Popular support costs money: In 2001, shutting down entire cafes for staged meetings with the 'public' was the norm. In 2005, they actually *built* outdoor cafes so Blair could have a 'spontaneous' chats in them.

2. We still want to know how much Tony Blair spent of tanning products during the general election, but the details of election spending released to the public by the Electoral Commission do not go into this level of detail.

Copies of the relevant invoices (that do go into this level of detail) have been supplied to journalists, but - judging by the 'stand-out' items that are being recycled in most newspapers - very few journalists have actually made full use of access to this material.

3. How much money was spent keeping off-message people away from Labour rallies and 'spontaneous' gatherings... and did this come out of their election expenses or an anti-terror-slash-security fund paid for by the unwitting taxpayer?

Related news items:
BBC - Election make-up costs revealed
The Times - The price of spin
Telegraph - Parties spent a fortune on election aides and make-up

Tony Blair doesn't think that you're stupid... he just hopes that you are.

Check out this desperate last-minute gambit where he seeks to launch a debate silence his critics on civil liberties just over a week before local elections:

Henry Porter: (source): In Parliament Square we now see people parading with blank placards to make the point that they are not allowed to demonstrate within one kilometre of the Square under the new Serious Organised Crime and Police Act (SOCPA).

Tony Blair: (source): You say people can only have blank placards outside Parliament and can't protest. Go and look at the placards of those camped outside Parliament - they are most certainly not blank and usually contain words not entirely favourable to your correspondent. Outside Downing Street, virtually every day there are protests of one sort or another.

Henry Porter: (source): The only reason you see placards in Parliament Square today is because the anti-war protester Brian Haw's demonstration preceded the introduction of the act, which is not retrospective. His presence in the square is still being challenged by government lawyers.

Tony Blair not only misrepresented Henry Porter's claim in his answer, he sought to use a man who was unsuccessfully targeted by this illiberal legislation as an example of how liberal the legislation is!

He also assures us that; "Outside Downing Street, virtually every day there are protests of one sort or another"... but does not make clear how many of those are of the authorised variety.

You can see Charles Clarke using the same blatantly dishonest trick on exactly the same issue here.

This is not an honest response to an unfair charge... it is coordinated disinformation.

If Blair has no valid defence to offer, then I think one can say in all fairness that sections 132 to 137 of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act are - by definition - indefensible.

We have an important question; perhaps someone who knows where the bodies are buried would care to seek out the answer...

How much did Tony Blair spend on tanning products during the 2005 election campaign and did this expenditure come out of Labour Party funds?

Independent - The battle for civil liberties: Government on offensive after criticism of 'authoritarian' laws

'Offensive' being the operative word. Jeezum crow, look at 'em go:

Observer - Britain's liberties: The great debate

Comment is free - Tony Blair's authoritarian populism is indefensible and dangerous

Guardian - Clarke attacks 'poisonous' liberal media

Guardian - Charles Clarke's full speech on the media and civil liberties

Bloggerheads - Methinks they doth protest too much

BSSC - Who will rid us...?

BSSC - Bully Boys

CuriousHamster is spot on in that last link... this is neo-con territory. Add this to the attack on Cameron that looks like a recycled anti-Kerry ad and you have to wonder if there's a new political adviser in town.

Hey, wait a minute... didn't Karl Rove just ...? No... it couldn't be. Life in Britain today is absurd, but surely not *that* absurd.

We must admit to laughing out loud during the 2005 General Election campaign when Tony Blair sought to fend off valid questions about his conduct over Iraq and his dangerous exploitation of the 'war' on terror with statements like these:

April 2005: "In the end, you can play the ball or play the man," said Tony Blair on Wednesday, when the Tories accused him of telling lies. "If they play the man, that's probably because they don't dare play the ball."

May 2005: The Labour leader shrugged off attacks on his character, saying opponents "play the man rather than the ball if they have lost the policy argument".

Let us put aside any changes of outright hypocrisy just long enough to note the following:

Yes, sometimes it is easier to play the man not the ball. And sometimes, you are left little choice when that man will not pass the ball!.

The official Dave the Chameleon page was absent when Google's robots dropped by on Saturday; so the performance for davethechameleon.com suffers today as a result:

Two things need to be pointed out for laymen and bystanders respectively:

1) Google recognises blogged/dated/archived material, so Londonist's result will decay over time.

2) As Jawbox points out here, davethechameleon.com did not fall over or simply disappear, it had all the hallmarks of a site that had been strategically removed. Someone lost their bottle, then changed their mind. Or had it changed for them.

(PS - We look forward to Part 2, as we already have a fresh remix concept in mind.)

eclectech - Campaign Against Childish Labour: What does it say about your party if you're not able to drum up 30 seconds of content explaining why people should vote for you?

And, on a different issue serving much the same purpose...

Independent - Hodge blamed for increase in far-right's support: Ann Cryer, whose seat in Keighley, West Yorkshire, has been one of the BNP's main strongholds, attacked Mrs Hodge's comments as "very misguided". She feared they would be a morale booster for the BNP as the Labour Party appeared to have halted the rise of the BNP in Keighley... A YouGov poll in yesterday's Daily Telegraph showed 7 per cent support for the BNP, with 24 per cent saying they had considered voting for them in the past or were considering it now. But analysts believe some of this may be a direct result of the publicity the BNP has received from Mrs Hodge and others who attack it. Anthony King, professor of government at the University of Essex, said: "Margaret Hodge and others who have warned of the BNP threat have probably done it a favour by reminding voters of its existence."

Hmmm... cynically exploiting a threat for political gain and making that threat worse in the process... where have we seen this kind of thing before?

The Times - Bush and Blair have brilliantly done Bin Laden's work for him: There is now a voluminous literature on the politics of fear and its distorting appeal for democratic leaders (this month alone, David Runciman's admirable The Politics of Good Intentions and Peter Oborne's The Use and Abuse of Terror). The 9/11 "changes everything" mantra began as an explanation of a national trauma and a plea for sympathy. It was hijacked to validate the latent authoritarianism of democratic leaders.

We think this remarkable find calls for a caption competition. Any takers?

Not too bad. Not too bad at all...

:o)

(The folks over at Londonist earn a golf-clap from us, but are warned not to get too comfortable in that top spot.)

Labour's Dave the Chameleon site has been removed.

The main page at www.davethechameleon.com now redirects to the home page of the Labour Party website. Both the page where you used to be able to download copies of the attack ad (previously at /debut.html) and the 'hilarious' two-entry blog (previously at /blog.html) now come up with 'File not found'. (Though, so far, Blair's bods have failed to delete this download page at the Labour Party website.)

This is a big kick in the teeth... for us. In fact, we hope that this is some sort of glitch and not a permanent arrangement.

Damn it, we want to slug it out in a fair fight in Google to see which version of the ad the nation prefers. Oh well. The page with our 'new and improved' version hasn't appeared in Google's database yet, but we do have this initial Yahoo result to be proud of:

The original Dave the Chameleon ad can still be seen on YouTube.

The 'new and improved' version can be seen by clicking here.

(You know, it's an odd thing... the Team Blair of days gone by would have removed our version, not their own...)

UPDATE (3pm) - As has been noted under comments, the official Dave the Chameleon site is now back in business. Let battle re-commence!

PS - If you're quick, you can look at the blog (at its new location) and see a very untidy mess. Heaven knows what they're playing at over there...

The Times - Controversial Lib Dem donor arrested on fraud charges

Not, it should be noted, over the loans scandal... but all the same it's the last thing we as a country need. Why? Because now we're woefully short of willing opposition. Everybody will be too busy keeping their heads down.

Now you might be tempted to think that now is a good time to burn the whole thing down and start afresh, but you really should be warned that Lord Levy has already started without you...

Guido/Snopes/Spectator: (I)t emerges that the Marylebone offices of the New Labour treasurer, Lord Levy, have been devastated by a mysterious fire. This took place last November, well before the police investigation began and around the time the House of Lords Appointments Commission raised the first queries concerning Tony Blair's list. When I rang Downing Street for a reassurance that no papers relevant to the police investigation had been destroyed, I was informed that 'that is a matter for Lord Levy'.

Prepare yourselves for the best opinion-piece on Charles Clarke since Matthew Norman let fly...