Pandora: John "two shags" Prescott reckons the Mail on Sunday should be carpeted by the Press Complaints Commission for buying up the "excoriating" diaries of his mistress, Tracey Temple. Perhaps, when the dust has settled, he'll think again. For it turns out that some of Prezza's most embarrassing bedroom secrets were deleted from the memoir prior to publication. Sources close to Temple report that three key anecdotes from her hand-written diaries were missing from the MoS's seven pages of edited highlights. The first referred to an under-sized feature of the Deputy PM's anatomy, which Temple compared to a "cocktail sausage". The second described efforts to use pharmaceuticals to resurrect what the newspaper later referred to as "an unsuccessful attempt at sex". The third contained detailed accounts of a "Lewinskyesque" encounter in the Whitehall office of Prescott, left. According to sources at the Mail on Sunday, all three passages were removed for reasons of taste. "Tempting though it was, we didn't think our readers want to read graphic accounts of this sort of thing," says one. "We are, as they say, a family newspaper." Yesterday, though Temple's "censored" recollections were sweeping through Westminster, having been aired on the internet site of the publisher Iain Dale. "Far from threatening to take the MoS to the PCC, Prescott should be sitting down tonight and writing a handwritten letter of thanks to their editor," he reckons.

Typical. It's always the guys with the little cocks that turn out to be sexual predators.

Instead of trying not to think about it (we know it's tempting) spare a thought for all those women who suffered after spurning his clumsy advances over the years... and all those who suffered after succumbing to them.

(See also: No special favours.... just a bit slicker)

UPDATE - Hm. This is going to take a great deal of whitewash. Best break out two rescue teams...

The Times - Prescott's office to deal with inquiry into his love affair: Two government departments are to conduct an inquiry into whether John Prescott abused his position as a Cabinet minister in his two-year relationship with his diary secretary, Tracey Temple. The Cabinet Office and Mr Prescott's own Deputy Prime Minister's department confirmed yesterday that they will look into the claims made by Ms Temple, who is still a civil servant.

Telegraph - Prescott slips through gap in code: The chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life criticised Tony Blair yesterday for failing to allow independent investigations into alleged sexual misconduct by ministers. In a clear reference to the John Prescott affair, Sir Alistair Graham, the head of the Government-appointed watchdog, said a "significant gap" existed in dealing with alleged non-financial breaches of the ministerial code.

UPDATE - And here's a picture, boys and girls...

(posted to b3ta)