Burning Blair
This Guy Fawkes night, we would like you to join us as we burn Tony Blair in effigy.
Instructions follow, but you are urged to follow your own path.... such an act binds you to a journey of discovery, where you are sure to draw many wonderful parallels between 5-11 and 9-11 - and learn a lot about yourself and your neighbours in the process.
As you begin to plan your Guy, do you pull up short, convinced that you would never get away with it?
Do you actually build your Guy and decide at the last minute that you can't go through with it?
If you do go through with it, will your Guy rate inclusion in the pre-bonfire line-up, or will it be quietly censored?
If you get your Blair/Guy onto the bonfire, will the crowd gasp at your impudence or instead chant "blood for Baal... blood for Baal..."?
If you actually get to burn your Blair/Guy (BURN him, I say) will you actually feel better... or worse?
Take the journey... make the Guy... blog the results.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR BUILDING A BLAIR GUY:
The head is the trickiest bit, but often it can be simple as laying a bit of papier mache over a balloon and then sticking a picture of Blair's face on the front. If you want to get more advanced and go for something approaching sculpture, then please do remember to include the wingnut-like ears, that insincere smile and those goofed-out eyes (otherwise the local authorities won't be able to recognise it before they arrest you under the 2005 Respect For Your Betters Act).
Clothing is easy; just pop into your nearest charity store and buy a natty suit (the smaller the better - less space requires less crumpled-up newspaper), a white shirt and a red tie.
Stitching: it doesn't have to be neat... you're going to BURN it, remember?
Stuffing is even easier; what could be more fitting than a dozen or so copies of The Sun?
Pant-stuffing is a bit harder (no pun intended); we suggest you use a cucumber to represent Tony Blair's impressive manhood, but feel free to tuck it down and to the left if you wish to avoid tricky questions from the kids.
Hands and feet may seem like a challenge, but you can use cotton gloves and socks if you wish, and add shoes only for display. (Cheap dress shoes are also available from charity stores if you wish to go the whole hog.)
An overall word on resources: please try to use natural non-toxic materials... you're going to BURN it remember?
Good luck on your mission, and do let us know how you get on so we can add your report to ours.
Instructions follow, but you are urged to follow your own path.... such an act binds you to a journey of discovery, where you are sure to draw many wonderful parallels between 5-11 and 9-11 - and learn a lot about yourself and your neighbours in the process.As you begin to plan your Guy, do you pull up short, convinced that you would never get away with it?
Do you actually build your Guy and decide at the last minute that you can't go through with it?
If you do go through with it, will your Guy rate inclusion in the pre-bonfire line-up, or will it be quietly censored?
If you get your Blair/Guy onto the bonfire, will the crowd gasp at your impudence or instead chant "blood for Baal... blood for Baal..."?
If you actually get to burn your Blair/Guy (BURN him, I say) will you actually feel better... or worse?
Take the journey... make the Guy... blog the results.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR BUILDING A BLAIR GUY:
The head is the trickiest bit, but often it can be simple as laying a bit of papier mache over a balloon and then sticking a picture of Blair's face on the front. If you want to get more advanced and go for something approaching sculpture, then please do remember to include the wingnut-like ears, that insincere smile and those goofed-out eyes (otherwise the local authorities won't be able to recognise it before they arrest you under the 2005 Respect For Your Betters Act).
Clothing is easy; just pop into your nearest charity store and buy a natty suit (the smaller the better - less space requires less crumpled-up newspaper), a white shirt and a red tie.
Stitching: it doesn't have to be neat... you're going to BURN it, remember?
Stuffing is even easier; what could be more fitting than a dozen or so copies of The Sun?
Pant-stuffing is a bit harder (no pun intended); we suggest you use a cucumber to represent Tony Blair's impressive manhood, but feel free to tuck it down and to the left if you wish to avoid tricky questions from the kids.
Hands and feet may seem like a challenge, but you can use cotton gloves and socks if you wish, and add shoes only for display. (Cheap dress shoes are also available from charity stores if you wish to go the whole hog.)
An overall word on resources: please try to use natural non-toxic materials... you're going to BURN it remember?
Good luck on your mission, and do let us know how you get on so we can add your report to ours.
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